I am really missing my grandmother lately. I miss the fact that she loved me unconditionally and she knew what to say to make my pain go away. As I am getting married and having issues with some of his family, I wish I could talk to her and she could tell me things to make it better. I am not sure if there is anything better than a grandmother's unconditional love.
I never had the best relationship with my parents for various reasons. I knew that they loved me but, sometimes it just didn't feel that way. When I was with my grandmother I felt like she always loved me. I felt like her eyes lit up when I walked in the room. I loved going to her house and listening to her stories. I miss her whipping something up that was always delicious.
When my grandmother got sick, I did not want to see her because I felt like she was not my grandmother anymore. She didn't look like herself. I hadn't seen her for a few years after my parents got divorced. (I just wasn't sure what to do in that situation and I ended up losing time with her.)
When Lucas and I got together I said that he had to meet my grandmother. It was like I wanted her approval. She got really sick that weekend and ended up in the hospital. The first day that Lucas could see her was the day she died. I stood in the ICU and held her hand and told her that i loved her. She couldn't' speak but, she started to cry. She moved the side of her body that still could as best as she could trying to let me know she knew I was there. I didn't want her to work any harder and she had been sick for so long, I told her it was okay if she left. That day she did.
I just wish I could be selfish and bring her back for a day so we could talk. So she could tell me everything will be okay. So she could impart some words of wisdom in my situation and compliment me only the way she could. Everything that came out her mouth, I believed.
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete.
-- Marcy DeMaree
I am sorry about your Grandmother Shavonne. I had that kind of relationship more with my Grandfather then my Grandmother, and there are still days I find myself missing him so much I can't breath.
ReplyDeleteI know how much you wish she was here just to be a part of this time with you, and I am really sorry that she isn't.
But I am really glad that Lucas got to meet her, that is really special.
That was a truly beautiful post, it had me in tears! I just think you are so lucky to have had such a wonderful grandmother! Someday the grandchildren you have with Lucas will feel the same way about you. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for bringing her back, just remember that you always carry her with you, and I am sure she is part of all your future joy and sorrow.
And as for Lucas' family, ya'll can always move out here to Virginia! That's how I got away from the stress of Aaron's crazy relatives.